Divorce is tough. And there's no one way, linear path, straight line way to do it. It's personal. Your friends will give you all kinds of advice. Your family will give you all kinds of advice. But you really have to listen to yourself and do what's best for you and your family.
18 years ago, I transitioned through divorce and from what I can remember, I messed up a lot. I wasn't spending time during my marriage to prioritize my marriage. I dedicated all of my time to my kids. I was a full-time mom and I mean, I dove in. I had four young boys then, and I was all in being a mom. So I probably made their dad feel a little left out, some of the times. I didn't schedule girls' nights, I didn't see my friends too often. When we saw each other, we were always with the kids. I didn't take time for myself. I didn't practice solitude or meditation or self-awareness or growth. I yelled at my kids. I certainly am not a perfect parent. Wasn't then and still am not. I didn't take courses to improve myself. I wasn't perfect. And today I'm easily distracted. I love movies and Netflix. I don't have a perfect ten-year plan for my business. I judge people. I criticize myself. I like to wear the same clothes and outfits every day. I buy courses and I don't finish them.
My relationships are not perfect. My relationship with my kids is great, but there's always room for improvement. My relationship with their dad probably could have been better if I started doing what I'm doing now, earlier. (2:33) Don't let anyone tell you how to move through divorce. Be kind to yourself. Keep showing up and know that you're doing the best that you can. And if you do the best that you can and you keep showing up every day, things will work out all right. You can create a new relationship with your child or children's other parent, that works. You can have wonderful relationships with all your children. You can find a new love. You can create new work and experiences in your life.
Know that you are loved. You are worthy. And you are important.
Wendy
xoxo
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